I wrote this in my own personal reflecting time. Found that it would be good to post and reread (and let read) my thoughts on this muddy topics based on my reading and reflection so far.
I have seen the importance of apologetics in its many ways within my life. When emotion tries to conquer me, I find rational arguments that were presented to me to be standing rather firm. I have my doubts and worries, but the Christian way of dealing with incomprehensibility assured me that it is not, perhaps, because of God’s fault, but simply of my limitations and incredulity. This might look like a weakness to many people, but indeed, is there anyone in this world who could stand on his own absolute ground? I find this illusory and politically-infused. By no means I am absolute about this, nor do I find everything politically-infused to be troubling, I am just trying to relativize all our viewpoints, indeed including mine, to see that if we consider everything possible, we would find ourselves on shaky grounds. Perhaps some of us will stand on firmer, harder rock–some other else on fleeting sand or plain water–but none, it seems to me, could claim to be thoroughly sure, unfalsifiable, impeccable, infallible. It is just what it means to be human. Probably.
Having said that, I must return to the issue of faith. Faith is the hope of things not yet seen, said author of Hebrews. It is not blind faith, for we have many witnesses. But it is a more humble faith–a faith that assures itself not in our own epistemic superiority, nor to the infallible witnesses of the holy speech-acts, but in the God of whom the witnesses indicates however murky the lens we perceive. It is always better to see and act on something true, though we cannot comprehend everything rather than leaping unto darkness to which nothing but sheer chance awaits or to throw ourselves to leaked ship of logical impossibilities and loopholes–hence the need of faith and reason.